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[Dandy's attention turns to the bartender, a surprisingly pleasant smile on his face, like a kid about to ask for a fucking happy meal or something.

Unlike his gracious host, Dandy likes to think he's a little classier than a glass of beer.]

Scotch me- [Wait. He then turns to Karamatsu.] Hold up, are you telling me you took me to a bar you've never been to before?

I have not been to a lot of bars in Bavan, if you want me to be honest. I see this one on the way to work.

[He rests his remaining arm along the bar's surface.]

Is that a problem?

YES it's a problem, now we don't know if this shithole is worth it or not!

[I mean, it's not his money they're risking, but still!]

Are you a gambling man, Karmamatsu?! Is that what you're telling me?!

Eh? N- well...occasionally...I have not been to pachinko in a while...

[He makes it big ONE TIME and he never lives it down.]

...

...Okay, so you're a little cooler than I originally thought, good for you.

[He did it, he passed the test.]

I am?

[...wait.

Karamatsu clears his throat and then tosses his head a little, though his response is a little weaker than his usual boasts.]

...of course I am.

[Real convincing, Kara.]

...C'mon, dude, don't make me take it back.

[Of course, before Dandy can dwell on Karamatsu's coolness level any further, their drinks mercifully arrive. Any and all patheticness is quickly forgiven as Dandy elegantly takes the top of his glass, swishing the liquid only slightly before taking that long awaited first sip.

The look on his face is comparable to a man who hasn't drank water in almost three days.]

You have...no idea how much I needed this.

[Karamatsu drags his own stein of beer towards himself, not taking a drink right away. He eyes it for a long moment, like he's really considering if he wants to inevitably get shitfaced...and in the end he decides to just Not Care for once and knocks back a swig. He can feel his shoulders tense as his second mouth flexes, curious at the new taste.]

I assume you have not had a very pleasurable first week here.

A week...

[No, that's fine, he totally needed to know that.]

Those bastards kept me from BooBies for a week...

[It's a lot easier to deal with when the days kinda blend together, but now the words repeat in his head repeatedly. "A week."

...Incidentally to the same tune as the song "Karma Chameleon."]

No, you're right on the money. Until I finally get to leave this joint, I'll never be happy again.

[It's almost as if the lighting around him gets a little darker, as if to emphasize his already embarrassing dramatics.]

If you start thinking that way now, then the rest of your time here will be worse, you know.

[Dandy couldn't have picked a better person to come here with, because the dramatics aren't lost on Karamatsu, and because they're so in-line with the way he acts all the time, he doesn't act all weird about it. People just don't understand how people like you and him work, Dandy.]

Circumstances are not...ideal. But the hand that fate has dealt us is one that we cannot change. But there is nothing saying we cannot influence the cards so that they will be more in our favor.

[Someone is not convinced.]

Is it by setting the cards on fire?

[...because he could totally get behind that.]

...if you have no cards, then you are dead.

[At least, that sounds like it'd be right.]

[Without BooBies, he might as well be dead.]

Fire it is...

[I mean. He's not going to tell you how to live your life, but...

Karamatsu breathes a sigh, taking another drink from his stein.]

It would not matter. In most cases, death is not permanent here.

Great! Of course it isn't!

[They can't even let him die. That's just cruel, taking away a man's reason for living and just allowing him to...suffer. Dandy doesn't even care about the monster thing, he'll be the most gnarly monster ever if it'd mean being able to go back to BooBies. This is bullshit, this is criminal!]

Alright then Mr. Almost-a-Year, how the hell do you play your cards?

[Karamatsu eyes Dandy, tapping his claws in a brief staccato against the side of his glass. Well Here We Go.]

I have no plan.

[He says this robotically, like it's something he's given as an answer a thousand times before, yet it sits oddly on his tongue right now for some reason.]

I go as fate takes me...as fate would have it, it saw to it that my brothers showed up here, and that I found myself at my first real job...

[He trails off, brows furrowing in a hard press between his eyes, claws grazing down the glass and leaving behind hair-thin scratches in their wake.]

[In contrast to his dramatic sadness, Dandy suddenly springs up...onto his bar stool, a foot slamming onto the bar table. This is a terrible idea and he could very easily break a leg, but he needs this. With a swift turn of his hips, he points directly at Karamatsu, his waist gyrating.]

Now that is what I like to hear, baby~

[His gaze then turns to the ceiling, holding up his hands and motioning them about like he's directing a symphony of stupidity.]

Why make plans when life's just gonna screw you over anyway? Everyone thinks they're some kinda fucking genius, pouring all their effort into the future, so what happens in the now? You're drained, dead, a husk of your former self. What's the point of fighting it when you can just shape it into something that's actually fun? That's how I live, baby, go with the flow. That's what I always say.

[He was literally just talking about setting his life on fire a few seconds ago.]

So that's settled, we'll just have to open our own BooBies!

[.................................]

....eh?

I'm talkin' about BooBies!

[Whether it was on purpose or not, Dandy finally loses his balance and slams his butt back into his seat, but he manages to save it without injury and crosses his legs in the process, leaning over towards Kara and throwing an arm around his shoulders.]

It's a restaurant, c'mon, keep up. All we gotta do is find the hottest chicks this dump has to offer, make 'em wear skimpy outfits that show off the goods, and BAM! It's like I was never gone~!

Whaddya say? You like chicks, dontcha?

[It should be noted that Dandy isn't even drunk yet.]

O-of course I do!

[He's almost offended you even have to ask, Dandy.]

There is nothing more important in this world than women...but a restaurant?

[It's not hard for him to guess what "BooBies" is when he thinks harder about it. It's one of those places that he sortof doubts Ryslig already has, even though he's aware of the seedier sides of town.

...also wait, he said we. Several times. Wait-]

I suppose you could have Mana assist you, though...she brought my home back with the...the coins I gave her.

[So, theoretically, he could bring back the Actual BooBies if he had enough cash to spare.]

[Dandy can only spin in his bar stool, a dumb smile on his face as his brain fills with the delusions of finally being able to own his own BooBies. It's his dream.]

Who's Mana?

She is...

[He pauses, trying to think of a way to describe her.]

I am not sure what you would call her, exactly...I do not think she is human, but she is not quite like the gods here either. But she can be summoned and will grant requests for a fee. Once you have been here long enough you might find that you start acquiring coins from seemingly nowhere...that is what she takes as payment.

I am not sure if she is available right now, though...she seems to have had some trouble lately. But I will warn you, sometimes her magic backfires, or has unexpected results.

[Maybe if this god mess ever sorts itself out.]

[Blah blah blah, all he heard was magic and coins.]

Free money, huh? Now that I can get behind.

[...But more importantly.]

So, this Mana chick. You've met her before, right?

...She hot?

I-is she-?

[Karamatsu sputters, his grip on his glass slipping before he catches the bottom with one of his secondary hands, quickly lifting it to his lips to give him a moment to untangle the words he wants to say.]

Well, of course...I have met very few ladies in my lifetime who do not deserve that title.

[Of course Karamatsu is also a desperate virgin.]

[Wow Karamatsu sounds a lot like a desperate virgin.

...Hm.]

Great, then you can be the one to offer her a gig when we open up.

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DNADY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 021.51.520.25 * ALOHANUILOA has joined 021.51.520.25 <ALOHANUILOA> ( . Y . ) <ALOHANUILOA> lol <ALOHANUILOA>** talk 2 me bby <3

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IM SORRY THIS IS SHORT

NEVER BE SORRY

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