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[Without BooBies, he might as well be dead.]

Fire it is...

[I mean. He's not going to tell you how to live your life, but...

Karamatsu breathes a sigh, taking another drink from his stein.]

It would not matter. In most cases, death is not permanent here.

Great! Of course it isn't!

[They can't even let him die. That's just cruel, taking away a man's reason for living and just allowing him to...suffer. Dandy doesn't even care about the monster thing, he'll be the most gnarly monster ever if it'd mean being able to go back to BooBies. This is bullshit, this is criminal!]

Alright then Mr. Almost-a-Year, how the hell do you play your cards?

[Karamatsu eyes Dandy, tapping his claws in a brief staccato against the side of his glass. Well Here We Go.]

I have no plan.

[He says this robotically, like it's something he's given as an answer a thousand times before, yet it sits oddly on his tongue right now for some reason.]

I go as fate takes me...as fate would have it, it saw to it that my brothers showed up here, and that I found myself at my first real job...

[He trails off, brows furrowing in a hard press between his eyes, claws grazing down the glass and leaving behind hair-thin scratches in their wake.]

[In contrast to his dramatic sadness, Dandy suddenly springs up...onto his bar stool, a foot slamming onto the bar table. This is a terrible idea and he could very easily break a leg, but he needs this. With a swift turn of his hips, he points directly at Karamatsu, his waist gyrating.]

Now that is what I like to hear, baby~

[His gaze then turns to the ceiling, holding up his hands and motioning them about like he's directing a symphony of stupidity.]

Why make plans when life's just gonna screw you over anyway? Everyone thinks they're some kinda fucking genius, pouring all their effort into the future, so what happens in the now? You're drained, dead, a husk of your former self. What's the point of fighting it when you can just shape it into something that's actually fun? That's how I live, baby, go with the flow. That's what I always say.

[He was literally just talking about setting his life on fire a few seconds ago.]

So that's settled, we'll just have to open our own BooBies!

[.................................]

....eh?

I'm talkin' about BooBies!

[Whether it was on purpose or not, Dandy finally loses his balance and slams his butt back into his seat, but he manages to save it without injury and crosses his legs in the process, leaning over towards Kara and throwing an arm around his shoulders.]

It's a restaurant, c'mon, keep up. All we gotta do is find the hottest chicks this dump has to offer, make 'em wear skimpy outfits that show off the goods, and BAM! It's like I was never gone~!

Whaddya say? You like chicks, dontcha?

[It should be noted that Dandy isn't even drunk yet.]

O-of course I do!

[He's almost offended you even have to ask, Dandy.]

There is nothing more important in this world than women...but a restaurant?

[It's not hard for him to guess what "BooBies" is when he thinks harder about it. It's one of those places that he sortof doubts Ryslig already has, even though he's aware of the seedier sides of town.

...also wait, he said we. Several times. Wait-]

I suppose you could have Mana assist you, though...she brought my home back with the...the coins I gave her.

[So, theoretically, he could bring back the Actual BooBies if he had enough cash to spare.]

[Dandy can only spin in his bar stool, a dumb smile on his face as his brain fills with the delusions of finally being able to own his own BooBies. It's his dream.]

Who's Mana?

She is...

[He pauses, trying to think of a way to describe her.]

I am not sure what you would call her, exactly...I do not think she is human, but she is not quite like the gods here either. But she can be summoned and will grant requests for a fee. Once you have been here long enough you might find that you start acquiring coins from seemingly nowhere...that is what she takes as payment.

I am not sure if she is available right now, though...she seems to have had some trouble lately. But I will warn you, sometimes her magic backfires, or has unexpected results.

[Maybe if this god mess ever sorts itself out.]

[Blah blah blah, all he heard was magic and coins.]

Free money, huh? Now that I can get behind.

[...But more importantly.]

So, this Mana chick. You've met her before, right?

...She hot?

I-is she-?

[Karamatsu sputters, his grip on his glass slipping before he catches the bottom with one of his secondary hands, quickly lifting it to his lips to give him a moment to untangle the words he wants to say.]

Well, of course...I have met very few ladies in my lifetime who do not deserve that title.

[Of course Karamatsu is also a desperate virgin.]

[Wow Karamatsu sounds a lot like a desperate virgin.

...Hm.]

Great, then you can be the one to offer her a gig when we open up.

[And risk Mana turning him into a frog or something, are you kidding?

Karamatsu makes a face, taking another drink. His cheeks are starting to dust a little pink, and half the beer is gone already.]

You will be wanting to save up coins before that. Just to get my home back it took me quite a few.

Yeah yeah, I heard you before. Get some coins, I got the memo, yeesh.

[What? He can't get excited over this? Some people just wanna piss on everything.]

When can I expect to get these magic coins anyway? If it makes you feel any better, I'll even buy a piggy bank.

[Listen Dandy he just needs a full glass of beer in him. THEN he'll talk.]

Within...a month, I would say? That is when they first started appearing for me, anyway. They go fast...

[He mutters, picking up his glass and drinking again.]

Having a goal is better than nothing. I mean...this place is terrible, so why not enjoy yourself while you can? While you are actually still human and can enjoy it? I know I would if I could.

[Jesus christ, it's like he's trying to win downer of the year over here. How can someone still be so emo after hearing they were now apart of the exciting world of BooBies? He nudges Kara with his elbow playfully, in the sort of way that says "Cheer up already god damn."]

Dumbass, there are millions of people out there in the galaxy way more horrifying than the so-called "monsters" this planet has to offer, and even they still manage to have a good time.

You don't need to be human to have fun, baby. It's not about what you are in life, it's about what you do with it.

You have not even been here long enough to know the true horror, Dandy.

[Karamatsu mutters thickly, his brows narrowing heavily.]

Back home, this sort of thing? The- the monsters, and aliens, and dying by monster or tiger attack or driving your go-kart off a cliff? That was a joke! It is not a joke here! You cannot even joke about that sort of thing without it happening, causing irreversible damage, and no one is going to laugh at that sort of thing, it is too "melodramatic"-

[Karamatsu gestures with one of his lower hands before letting it drop back into his lap.]

It is getting harder to believe that, you know? "It is what you do with your life", sure, but how can it be when every hand life deals you is shit?

[Oooooh.

Oh.

Okay.

So he really does know what's up.

Cool.]

Hey hey, easy there, Kafka. Okay, I hear you, shit's been real.

But you're forgetting one very important thing right now: Dandy's here.

[Karamatsu looks bitterly into his glass, wondering why it's run dry all of a sudden, mid-sentence. Turns out it's empty already.]

And what can Dandy do?

Dandy can do whatever the hell he wants!

[Which apparently includes getting all up in Kara's face.]

Dandy can finally open up his own BooBies and give you your own paradise to retreat to when shit gets tough. Dandy can offer you some fucking money for helping him get this show on the road, we could be making it big time! And Dandy can sit here and talk to your stupid ass whenever you feel like you need it, because apparently no one else will.

You said your cards were shit, and now you finally got an ace up your sleeve! Fucking use it!

W-well that is all well and good, but I-

[Karamatsu struggles for a moment, like he's having a hard time grasping what he wants to say. He's only had one beer, but it's clear it's already hitting him pretty quickly.]

...I did have someone to talk to, but then he...got all messed up by the gods, and now I don't have an arm anymore.

[He puts his glass down after finally realizing its not just going to produce more beer out of thin air, leaving it for the bartender to take now that it's lined with small scratches from his claws.]

Having a place like yours...would be incredible, Dn..Dadny. But I am not sure how much help I can...be for you right now.

[So that explains the arm then. Dandy didn't really want to bring it up, instead allowing Kara to talk about it when he was good and ready. The hell is wrong with this planet?]

Well I don't believe in that shit, so I guess I won't be sacrificing your limbs anytime soon.

[He pauses.]

...So if we're going to make this happen, I'm gonna need you to contact me at least once a week, you hear me? [Dandy completely ignores the pity party, he already chose him for the job. Sorry, Kara, you're stuck.] I don't care how. You can text me or we can meet up here, just as long as I hear from you. And if I don't, I'm hunting your ass down, got it?

[Karamatsu listens while barely hearing what Dandy is saying to him. He stares dejectedly at the bartender, who seems halfway irritated Karamatsu scuffed up his glass, but also like he's well used to this sort of thing anyway. Unsurprisingly, Karamatsu manages to ask for a refill in the pause following Dandy's speech.]

Sure...alright. [He laughs hollowly.] It isn't like I probably still have a job to go to anyway...

[No, he definitely does. He's...definitely still the staff manager at Ebony Threads, probably missed while he's been avoiding work due to fear of his boss.]

Yeah, well that won't matter once we get BooBies running.

[In contrast, Dandy's still on his first glass. Unlike some people, he likes to think he's a little more civilized.]

But I mean it, I will bust through your fucking door to make sure you're not dead. Dead people don't run businesses. ...I think.

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IM SORRY THIS IS SHORT

NEVER BE SORRY

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