Space☆Dandy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
adandyinspace) wrote2017-03-31 08:28 pm
adandyinspace) wrote2017-03-31 08:28 pm
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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DNADY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 021.51.520.25 *** ALOHANUILOA has joined 021.51.520.25 <ALOHANUILOA> ( . Y . ) <ALOHANUILOA> lol <ALOHANUILOA> talk 2 me bby <3 | ||||
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...C'mon, dude, don't make me take it back.
[Of course, before Dandy can dwell on Karamatsu's coolness level any further, their drinks mercifully arrive. Any and all patheticness is quickly forgiven as Dandy elegantly takes the top of his glass, swishing the liquid only slightly before taking that long awaited first sip.
The look on his face is comparable to a man who hasn't drank water in almost three days.]
You have...no idea how much I needed this.
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I assume you have not had a very pleasurable first week here.
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[No, that's fine, he totally needed to know that.]
Those bastards kept me from BooBies for a week...
[It's a lot easier to deal with when the days kinda blend together, but now the words repeat in his head repeatedly. "A week."
...Incidentally to the same tune as the song "Karma Chameleon."]
No, you're right on the money. Until I finally get to leave this joint, I'll never be happy again.
[It's almost as if the lighting around him gets a little darker, as if to emphasize his already embarrassing dramatics.]
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[Dandy couldn't have picked a better person to come here with, because the dramatics aren't lost on Karamatsu, and because they're so in-line with the way he acts all the time, he doesn't act all weird about it. People just don't understand how people like you and him work, Dandy.]
Circumstances are not...ideal. But the hand that fate has dealt us is one that we cannot change. But there is nothing saying we cannot influence the cards so that they will be more in our favor.
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Is it by setting the cards on fire?
[...because he could totally get behind that.]
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[At least, that sounds like it'd be right.]
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Fire it is...
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Karamatsu breathes a sigh, taking another drink from his stein.]
It would not matter. In most cases, death is not permanent here.
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[They can't even let him die. That's just cruel, taking away a man's reason for living and just allowing him to...suffer. Dandy doesn't even care about the monster thing, he'll be the most gnarly monster ever if it'd mean being able to go back to BooBies. This is bullshit, this is criminal!]
Alright then Mr. Almost-a-Year, how the hell do you play your cards?
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I have no plan.
[He says this robotically, like it's something he's given as an answer a thousand times before, yet it sits oddly on his tongue right now for some reason.]
I go as fate takes me...as fate would have it, it saw to it that my brothers showed up here, and that I found myself at my first real job...
[He trails off, brows furrowing in a hard press between his eyes, claws grazing down the glass and leaving behind hair-thin scratches in their wake.]
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Now that is what I like to hear, baby~
[His gaze then turns to the ceiling, holding up his hands and motioning them about like he's directing a symphony of stupidity.]
Why make plans when life's just gonna screw you over anyway? Everyone thinks they're some kinda fucking genius, pouring all their effort into the future, so what happens in the now? You're drained, dead, a husk of your former self. What's the point of fighting it when you can just shape it into something that's actually fun? That's how I live, baby, go with the flow. That's what I always say.
[He was literally just talking about setting his life on fire a few seconds ago.]
So that's settled, we'll just have to open our own BooBies!
IM SORRY THIS IS SHORT
....eh?
NEVER BE SORRY
[Whether it was on purpose or not, Dandy finally loses his balance and slams his butt back into his seat, but he manages to save it without injury and crosses his legs in the process, leaning over towards Kara and throwing an arm around his shoulders.]
It's a restaurant, c'mon, keep up. All we gotta do is find the hottest chicks this dump has to offer, make 'em wear skimpy outfits that show off the goods, and BAM! It's like I was never gone~!
Whaddya say? You like chicks, dontcha?
[It should be noted that Dandy isn't even drunk yet.]
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[He's almost offended you even have to ask, Dandy.]
There is nothing more important in this world than women...but a restaurant?
[It's not hard for him to guess what "BooBies" is when he thinks harder about it. It's one of those places that he sortof doubts Ryslig already has, even though he's aware of the seedier sides of town.
...also wait, he said we. Several times. Wait-]
I suppose you could have Mana assist you, though...she brought my home back with the...the coins I gave her.
[So, theoretically, he could bring back the Actual BooBies if he had enough cash to spare.]
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Who's Mana?
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[He pauses, trying to think of a way to describe her.]
I am not sure what you would call her, exactly...I do not think she is human, but she is not quite like the gods here either. But she can be summoned and will grant requests for a fee. Once you have been here long enough you might find that you start acquiring coins from seemingly nowhere...that is what she takes as payment.
I am not sure if she is available right now, though...she seems to have had some trouble lately. But I will warn you, sometimes her magic backfires, or has unexpected results.
[Maybe if this god mess ever sorts itself out.]
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Free money, huh? Now that I can get behind.
[...But more importantly.]
So, this Mana chick. You've met her before, right?
...She hot?
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[Karamatsu sputters, his grip on his glass slipping before he catches the bottom with one of his secondary hands, quickly lifting it to his lips to give him a moment to untangle the words he wants to say.]
Well, of course...I have met very few ladies in my lifetime who do not deserve that title.
[Of course Karamatsu is also a desperate virgin.]
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...Hm.]
Great, then you can be the one to offer her a gig when we open up.
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Karamatsu makes a face, taking another drink. His cheeks are starting to dust a little pink, and half the beer is gone already.]
You will be wanting to save up coins before that. Just to get my home back it took me quite a few.
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[What? He can't get excited over this? Some people just wanna piss on everything.]
When can I expect to get these magic coins anyway? If it makes you feel any better, I'll even buy a piggy bank.
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Within...a month, I would say? That is when they first started appearing for me, anyway. They go fast...
[He mutters, picking up his glass and drinking again.]
Having a goal is better than nothing. I mean...this place is terrible, so why not enjoy yourself while you can? While you are actually still human and can enjoy it? I know I would if I could.
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Dumbass, there are millions of people out there in the galaxy way more horrifying than the so-called "monsters" this planet has to offer, and even they still manage to have a good time.
You don't need to be human to have fun, baby. It's not about what you are in life, it's about what you do with it.
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[Karamatsu mutters thickly, his brows narrowing heavily.]
Back home, this sort of thing? The- the monsters, and aliens, and dying by monster or tiger attack or driving your go-kart off a cliff? That was a joke! It is not a joke here! You cannot even joke about that sort of thing without it happening, causing irreversible damage, and no one is going to laugh at that sort of thing, it is too "melodramatic"-
[Karamatsu gestures with one of his lower hands before letting it drop back into his lap.]
It is getting harder to believe that, you know? "It is what you do with your life", sure, but how can it be when every hand life deals you is shit?
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Oh.
Okay.
So he really does know what's up.
Cool.]
Hey hey, easy there, Kafka. Okay, I hear you, shit's been real.
But you're forgetting one very important thing right now: Dandy's here.
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