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[There's a smirk on his face as his head instinctively seems to lean into her hand, much like an animal would when it's getting those good pets. Dandy can't even remember the last time he's had his face touched so gently.

Oh wait, yes he can.]

Try a three month long nap~

[His voice is playful despite everything.]

Which is kinda impressive, because most people would call that a coma.

[He will surrender his crown to her, the true nap master.]

Thhhhhreeee months?!

[The calm of the moment is shattered by Maya's surprise and the miyazaki-esque fluffing of her hair.]

Why did-- where did-- three months?!

[That would be so adorable if it wasn't so worrying...]

Wha-- hey!!

[...Okay, he can't really blame her for freaking out, most people probably would. It's kinda funny...Dandy of course can't say he'd feel the same if he was the one who disappeared. Like...whatever, right? Just pick up where you left off, right??

But this isn't about him, her reaction is perfectly reasonable. So...he just sort of...presses his forehead against hers.]

Pretty wild, right? ...You're lookin' great, by the way. Y'know, for a chick who hasn't bathed in three months.

[There's a small laugh in his voice, he absolutely knows he's being dumb right now.]

[Maya has every right to be surprised, and yet she can't help but be soothed by Dandy's behavior. Whether it's pod-brain or just the fact he seems really, really affectionate-- no, no it's definitely the second part, isn't it? Her head swims a little still, but it's so calming to be here like this, in a loose embrace.

Maya does not remember the last time she was held like this.]

You thi-- hey!

[She manages a pout despite it all, giving Dandy the tiniest of shoves-- following his movement with her own, magnetized.

She then sticks out her tongue. She is an adult.]

Says the guy who barely came down here in pants at all.

[Everything about what she does gives him so much life that you'd almost wouldn't think he's ready to flop to the floor and continue sleeping. The way she shoves him, her adorable tongue peeking out of her mouth, Dandy can't control the smile on his face. He would've never gotten anything like this out of anyone else.

The way she sticks close even after the shove is rewarded -- or so he tells himself -- as he presses his lips against the bridge of her nose in the most playful kiss. The grin never disappears, if anything, it becomes larger the moment she mentions his pants.]

Hey now, that's nowhere NEAR the same. I look even better the moment they come off.

[And yes. He wiggles his eyebrows.]

[Maya does not half the self control at this moment not to roll her eyes, let alone her whole head, with a big old smile. She shoves Dandy again, this time not following him.]

I just walked here from Vandare, you know.

[Yeah, he definitely doesn't make a fuss about getting shoved, Dandy knows he deserves it.

But also, um...]

Woah.

...That's hardcore.

[BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY.]

Why didn't you whack a dude for their laptop and call me?

Or like...take a bus?

[Not like he's going to wait for an answer. Instead, the ever growing concerned Dandy slips behind Maya and just...scoops her up. He's already decided what's happening next and it looks like it's less walking.]

Guess I'll just have to wait until the morning, and go to sleep like some kinda normal person.

[Seriously, who is he kidding, he is so tired right now. Maya is doing him a favor, he would've embarrassed himself otherwise.]

It's not like it's that far.

[Not... for someone who lives on the mountains and regularly walks and bikes everywhere, anyway. And especially not when you're a monster instead of a human. But SOME PEOPLE have been on SPACE SHIPS their whole lives--

and suddenly she's being swept up again. Maya puts her arms around Dandy's shoulders for stability, not at all complaining about being carried.]

Whoa! Okay.

[Guess that's happening. Maya gives him a playful pout... or what attempts to be a pout but is more of a smile.]

You? A normal person? That's a new one.

Seriously, I dunno how you can do this to me. Next thing I know, you're gonna ask me to get an office job or something.

[Office Dandy: He's a boring guy. That's it.

But he's obviously all smiles as he begins carrying her off to the bedroom. Her bedroom. In her house. That's been waiting for her this entire time. Dandy's not one to get sappy and believe in things like home, especially not on this dump of a planet, but maybe things will start to feel a little more...comfortable again.]

S'kinda funny...I honestly didn't think you were ever gonna pop up again. [HILARIOUS!]
There's actually people--I'm talkin' non-crazy cult people--out there that managed to stick it to the fog god, she couldn't bring people here for awhile, can you believe that?!

Man...I'm a little bummed it didn't stick, but at the same time...

[He kind of just gestures to.......her.]

Gross. That doesn't sound like me.

[But the next thing he says catches Maya even more by surprise, and she fidgets in his arms, not about to let that one fly.]

They stopped the Fog God? For real?

[There's a lot to touch on in what he said, but... one thing at a time.]

Can't get any more real.

[And he is just...so happy about this.]

That forest she had all fucked up is cleared now, too! Pretty sure that didn't change...

[When he finally reaches the bedroom, Maya's ride sadly has to end as he ever so gently sets her down on the bed. The dog makes sure to slip in just in time before Dandy shuts the door, everyone is there and accounted for.]

[Maya blinks a bit vacantly as she's set down, tilting her head a little and staring up at Dandy.]

Even your hair is longer.

[Everything is a bit different now, and in only three months. She'd missed so much and so little at once.]

I missed a lot.

[...

Dandy's giddiness disappears the moment she mentions his hair, he even grabs a bit of it to confirm that, yes...it is. Holy shit, he had it down this entire time, his human self would be seething. Always keep your hair styled!! You never know when you'll run into a pretty lady!! LIKE YOUR GODDAMN GIRLFRIEND!!

The words echo in his head like the world's shittiest conscience talking. Jiminy Cricket inner-Dandy is not.]

Can you give me one sec real quick....

[And Dandy scrambles off, arms flailing and everything.]

AH--

[It's really hard to stop Dandy when he gets something up his ass like this, so instead Maya's left staring after him for a few seconds.]

Wait-- Hey!

[...Before she remembers that just because she was carried here doesn't mean she can't chase after him.]

Wait up! Are you really gonna go do your hair?!

[Is he really gonna go do his hair? Maya gets her answer whenever she finds him in the bathroom, viciously opening every drawer and cabinet in search for his pomade.

It's...been awhile.]

It'll take me, like, two seconds!!

[Oh...the time got bumped up...]

What happened to going to bed?!

[Maya asks, hopping up onto his back like a very stupid clinging spider in an attempt to stop him, arms around his shoulders again.]

[Even though it really shouldn't, Dandy acts and struggles like she's somehow pulling him back by doing so. He clutches onto the sink like she'd rip him away if he didn't.]

I'm puttin' the beauty in beauty sleep, b-baby!!

You already look great, dummy!

[Good thing they don't have neighbors close enough to hear them being so incredibly obnoxious.]

[It's true. ...Although the dog might be rolling her eyes...]

...Yeah?

[And just like that, he stops, looking back at his Maya backpack completely unfazed by what just transpired. It's not like he wasn't growing his hair out for a reason.]

I was kinda goin' for a more...mermaidy look, y'know?

[What happened to sleeping is this really the time to talk about hair-- It's Dandy, it's always time to talk about hair.]

Someone had the fill the hole you made when you left, not like that Marco guy was going to grow any wavy locks anytime soon...

[That guy's too much of a nerd. He's the real office dandy...]

[No one anywhere would blame the dog for being sick of their shit.

...But Maya falls silent, letting herself slide down to the ground, leaning her cheek against his back and replacing her arms around his waist.

Someone had the fill the hole you made when you left. ]

...I like it. Your hair.

[She says, finally, unmoving.]

It's nice like this.

[Oh...this is...this is nicer...

Dandy doesn't move much as he continues to look over his shoulder at her, not wanting to ruin the set up she'd got going against his back.

Well, it's not like he's trying to impress any girls these days. Just her. If she likes it, then...]

So...bed?

Mmhm.

[Maya nods, kisses Dandy's shoulderblade-- and steps back, letting him free so she can turn to walk back.]

You've been here alone three months, so that definitely means you're cleaning tomorrow. Gotta rest up!

[O-Oh, so she did see the disaster the house currently is...

Adorable shoulderblade kisses can only do so much.]

I'll clean when I'm good and dead.

Mm, we'll see about that in the morning.

[So, so sweet.

You're gonna clean, Dandy.]

Yeah yeah, morning's gonna have to get here, first.

[And what better way to make it come faster than passing out on the bed. Dandy gives a small laugh when he turns himself around and scoops her up again, once more carrying her to the bedroom, but this time with the intention of staying there.

The hair crisis is over. Everybody go to sleep.]

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DNADY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 021.51.520.25 * ALOHANUILOA has joined 021.51.520.25 <ALOHANUILOA> ( . Y . ) <ALOHANUILOA> lol <ALOHANUILOA>** talk 2 me bby <3