[Dandy's battling hasn't been nearly as good, which is why he walks in still in uniform, looking almost like a completely different person with the way his hair's down. Turns out fancy pants cafes aren't into the whole pompadour look. If he didn't need cash to feed his entourage of tiny animals, and if cafes weren't one of his favorite spots to pick up chicks, he'd totally take advantage of Jack's hotel offer and just bum off him.
Alas, he must be an adult.
Thankfully his mood isn't nearly as sour as it could be, instead holding up his new pal like a fuzzy purple trophy. Martini stands at his heel, that usual deino smile on her face.]
Check it out, she's my new Ass Rat~
[He says that...so lovingly. And yet his stunky doesn't seem any calmer, in fact seeing another person in the room has her hair suddenly standing on end in shock. Oh no, another trainer. She knows her trainer somehow adores her, but he's clearly just confused. This other one could totally spill her horrible secret, her terrible stunky rep as being nothing more than a horrible stink monster. She knew it, she knew it was too good to be true.
Her fears only intensify when Bandit runs over. See, there it is, he already sent his dog after her!! She's frozen in Dandy's arms, but the way he rubs his cheek against hers makes it clear he doesn't notice her distress.]
[ jack repeats the name very flatly, because you know what that looks like? a skunk, she looks like a skunk. but, even as he watches, she seems more terrified than pissed, especially with the expression on her face as bandit comes over. ]
Bandit, come back.
[ he says it as he stands, and bandit puts his ears down but comes back to where jack's standing. he reaches down to pet him before he moves forward, keeping at a distance but he offers a hand to the stunky. ]
It's all right - you're not in any danger here.
[ he assumes she's just nervous because of all the dogs, not because of her stinky secret. ]
[The ever so jittered Ass Rat looks at Jack's hand, then up at Jack himself. ...Then back at his hand. She's not really sure what he's trying to do here, and honestly she's not sure if she trusts it. Hesitantly, she slooooowly stretches out her back leg and taps one of his fingers with a toe.
...Well, at least she doesn't bite like SOME people.]
Found her dumpster diving back at work, which means--
[He takes his stunky and turns her around, holding her up so they're suddenly face to face.]
--someone's gonna need a bath~ Who's a dirty baby? Is it you?
[Dandy uses the same stupid baby voice he normally saves for Jack's dogs and Martini, which means this little purple monster holds a special place in his heart. Here's hoping Jack likes seeing skunks more often.]
[Again, the stunky's fur bristles with surprise when she's being addressed, slooooowly peering over her shoulder to peek at the skitty addressing her. Skitty's are such cute, popular pokémon, and now one's chirping at her like they're somehow on the same level. It's like the popular kid has found her worthy enough to talk to. ...She has no idea how to handle this.
Not that she has to, Dandy starts walking her to the bathroom.]
Yeah, well, unless you're hiding some somewhere, we're gonna use shampoo like normal people.
[He continues carrying his new bundle of joy over to the bathroom, Martini right behind him up until he finally gets in there and closes the door on her. They need privacy and he just KNOWS the deino will try to do something to make bath time harder. Like eat all the soap.
So she sits there, looking over at Jack almost as if she wants a little help here. That soap's not gonna eat itself.]
[ he yells it through the door closing. when martini looks over at jack, doing her best impression of needing help, jack comes over, crouching down. he doesn't try to pet her, though. ]
I think you can wait a little bit while your dad finishes cleaning up.
[ he gets up and moves away, but pauses, and then ... tosses one of dandy's wadded up shirts at her, though, in case she wants to get into some mischief while waiting. ]
[If this girl could have heart eyes, she so would right now. A shirt is totally an acceptable consolation prize and she manages to catch it midair. How could she ever mistake the scent of one of dear old dad's things? Martini's head whips around as she begins to shred it to pieces, happily growling to herself as she does so.
Jack is good people, if only he'd let her chomp him.
When Dandy finally steps out of the bathroom, it looks like both trainer and skunk are properly groomed. Dandy's hair is back to its perfectly pomped shape, while Ass Rat's fur is looking much softer and more luxurious. That tail could be made out of clouds. Of course, AR hasn't had a bath in her life, so when Dandy sets her down all she can do is stand there and shiver. Like she's been through a million battles.]
May I introduce the new and improved Ass Rat~ [Dandy twirls his hands as he motions to his still shaken stunky, incredibly proud of his handy work. If there's anyone who can tame even the wildest of hairs, it's him.] Heh, she'll be stealin' hearts in no time-- IS THAT MY FUCKING SHIRT?!
[ jack is observant as fuck. there's no way that's not a lie, but he gets up to look at ass rat, crouching down to examine her. ]
She really cleaned up. What do you think, Crybaby?
[ crybaby pops her head out of her hood and claps her paws together. bravo 10/10 ass rat, even if you look like you've seen a thousand wars from dandy's conditioner. ]
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no subject
Alas, he must be an adult.
Thankfully his mood isn't nearly as sour as it could be, instead holding up his new pal like a fuzzy purple trophy. Martini stands at his heel, that usual deino smile on her face.]
Check it out, she's my new Ass Rat~
[He says that...so lovingly. And yet his stunky doesn't seem any calmer, in fact seeing another person in the room has her hair suddenly standing on end in shock. Oh no, another trainer. She knows her trainer somehow adores her, but he's clearly just confused. This other one could totally spill her horrible secret, her terrible stunky rep as being nothing more than a horrible stink monster. She knew it, she knew it was too good to be true.
Her fears only intensify when Bandit runs over. See, there it is, he already sent his dog after her!! She's frozen in Dandy's arms, but the way he rubs his cheek against hers makes it clear he doesn't notice her distress.]
no subject
[ jack repeats the name very flatly, because you know what that looks like? a skunk, she looks like a skunk. but, even as he watches, she seems more terrified than pissed, especially with the expression on her face as bandit comes over. ]
Bandit, come back.
[ he says it as he stands, and bandit puts his ears down but comes back to where jack's standing. he reaches down to pet him before he moves forward, keeping at a distance but he offers a hand to the stunky. ]
It's all right - you're not in any danger here.
[ he assumes she's just nervous because of all the dogs, not because of her stinky secret. ]
Where'd you catch ... Ass Rat?
no subject
...Well, at least she doesn't bite like SOME people.]
Found her dumpster diving back at work, which means--
[He takes his stunky and turns her around, holding her up so they're suddenly face to face.]
--someone's gonna need a bath~ Who's a dirty baby? Is it you?
[Dandy uses the same stupid baby voice he normally saves for Jack's dogs and Martini, which means this little purple monster holds a special place in his heart. Here's hoping Jack likes seeing skunks more often.]
no subject
greetings, here's the other dumbass that puts up with dandy.
thankfully, dandy is turning her away to talk to her - and jack absolutely recognizes that baby voice. ]
Pro tip - try washing her in some tomato sauce first. It'll probably help with the smell.
[ look it looks like a skunk and probably smells like one, but jack isn't gonna tell the dude not to love what he loves - which is apparently ass rat.
the skitty on his shoulder chirps at ass rat. it actually sounds like she tries to say ass. hello?? ]
no subject
Not that she has to, Dandy starts walking her to the bathroom.]
Yeah, well, unless you're hiding some somewhere, we're gonna use shampoo like normal people.
[He continues carrying his new bundle of joy over to the bathroom, Martini right behind him up until he finally gets in there and closes the door on her. They need privacy and he just KNOWS the deino will try to do something to make bath time harder. Like eat all the soap.
So she sits there, looking over at Jack almost as if she wants a little help here. That soap's not gonna eat itself.]
no subject
[ he yells it through the door closing. when martini looks over at jack, doing her best impression of needing help, jack comes over, crouching down. he doesn't try to pet her, though. ]
I think you can wait a little bit while your dad finishes cleaning up.
[ he gets up and moves away, but pauses, and then ... tosses one of dandy's wadded up shirts at her, though, in case she wants to get into some mischief while waiting. ]
no subject
Jack is good people, if only he'd let her chomp him.
When Dandy finally steps out of the bathroom, it looks like both trainer and skunk are properly groomed. Dandy's hair is back to its perfectly pomped shape, while Ass Rat's fur is looking much softer and more luxurious. That tail could be made out of clouds. Of course, AR hasn't had a bath in her life, so when Dandy sets her down all she can do is stand there and shiver. Like she's been through a million battles.]
May I introduce the new and improved Ass Rat~ [Dandy twirls his hands as he motions to his still shaken stunky, incredibly proud of his handy work. If there's anyone who can tame even the wildest of hairs, it's him.] Heh, she'll be stealin' hearts in no time-- IS THAT MY FUCKING SHIRT?!
no subject
[ jack is observant as fuck. there's no way that's not a lie, but he gets up to look at ass rat, crouching down to examine her. ]
She really cleaned up. What do you think, Crybaby?
[ crybaby pops her head out of her hood and claps her paws together. bravo 10/10 ass rat, even if you look like you've seen a thousand wars from dandy's conditioner. ]